I felt fire in my veins and the cold hit of metal on my palm like a rush of blood.

Mom and I stood on the front porch of our big white country house, complete with wrap around porch and detached garage. The large garden and cow pasture straight out in front of us. The sun rising warm and softly to the east on that frosty morning.

I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, leaning against a porch column, solem faced. I could smell the coffee and the breakfast bacon and sausage on his breathe as he kissed my cheek and gave me a sweet reasuring smile. Then Dad kissed mom goodbye just as he did every morning for awhile now. Mom and I stood there on the portch together and watched as he and the boys crawled into the big rusty old car, waving as they pulled out of the driveway.

It was the same as every morning. Day after day mom and I would stand on that big front porch and stare off into the country lost in our own thoughts, saying silent prayers that they would come safely home today. For some reason today felt different. It was freezing outside; the snow banks were tall and the roads were icy. The snow plow hadnt been by in days. Something was nagging and tugging on my soul. I waited a moment extra. . . . .nothing.

As I turned to go inside the house, I heard it. Screeching tires and a crash. Mom was instantly at the door in front of me. We made eye contact. Moms eyes filled with dread as she said, "I knew it." What we didnt expect was more screeching tires . . . another crash and then . . . another. Comfusion and fear flooded my head. As I ran around to the side of the house I heard more tire burns and more crashing.

As I rounded the side of the house and looked back out at the long winding steep hill that lead away from the house towards town, my blood frooze. Dads car was facing back down the hill, but it wasnt moving anymore. The nose was pushed deep into a snow bank. I could see Matts shoes up on the dash, shins pressed up against the windshield. I couldnt see dads face through the broken windshield, his head, on impact, must have been what shattered the glass.

Thats when I noticed him. Climbing out from behind the driver seat of the long old gold cadilac that sat mangled behind dads car was a really tall, well built good looking man, mid thirtys with dark hair, in a black trench coat. He took aim at the snow drifts along the side of the road. I saw what moved like a deer, running and jumping through the ditch and over the snow banks. With every fire, he'd duck but kept running faster. Beau!

I felt fire in my veins and the cold hit of metal on my palm like a rush of blood. I didnt have to look to know who put it there. I felt moms hand instantly at my back, silently pushing me forward. Gun aimed at the dark mysterious figure, I lurched forward, cautiously but quickly.

"Put the gun down or I swear I'll shoot you," I yelled. The evil man smirked when he spied mother and I. I didnt have to look I knew she was there at my side. As long as the attention was off Beau, I didnt care.

As Beau ducked behind a drift the crazed man took aim at me. I wanted to look at Beau to see if he was ok, but I couldnt loose eye contact with the gunman. I shot the man in the right leg, right through the shin. He fell slowly to his knees. He couldnt grasp his leg unless he dropped the gun. He tried to aim at me again, but by this time I had advanced closer. He dropped the gun unwillingly in defeat as I pressed the barrel of my gun to his forehead. I could hear the sizzle of his hot gun in the snow as it cooled.

I screamed at mom to bring some rope. I heard her scurry up behind me; she already had it. She tied the mans hands behind his back. I could see him staring at me waiting for the right moment. I felt his eyes on my soul, as if deciding if I would really shoot him. I held the gun square between his eyes as mom hog tied him. I desperatly wanted to look at Beau, but I couldnt break eye contact at this crucial moment.

I could see it in his eyes, the fight hadnt left him yet, to him this wasnt over yet. With all the fury in my blood it took everything I had not to shoot him right between the eyes. I wanted him to bleed. I wanted this to be over. I wanted him to feel pain. I just wanted this damn dream to be over.

"Beau? . . . . . . Beau Jeffery you answer me!!" I hollered still holding eye contact with the crazed man.

It felt like forever for mom to tie him but she wanted to do a real good job.

At my feet I felt a nudge and a faint, "Here." I sighed with relief.

Then I woke up.

The most exquisite prince.

He knows not what he has. He knows not what he possesses. Never cometh trouble in the likeness of his grace. He think of my love as a precious jewel and treasure it with all his being till the end of his time.

He speaks not with a slanderous tongue to his comrades for his words would fall like fire upon mine ears. Such evil thoughts and words would infect his soul and all that which possess his dreams. To consume him like the spirits. For I am not the harlot he slandered mine name to be. Be I not a maiden in thine eyes? For that tis what I wish to be known as in thine heart.
Silence. It is all that mine mind can contain. My silence most offends you. Thou I was raised to speak simple thoughts and to speak not the thoughts that hold weight or difference.
The love god hath passed me by. I in my waking find not a soul to pair with. I wish to hide me till God doth point him out to mine eyes. Tis a precious thing to only happen once and only to the sweet and pure in heart. Doth mine heart not deserve this? Or is thine heart nor desires from mine soul pure? Why hath men be the villain of mine story?

Is it not strange that the spirits from a liquid might open ones soul unto one another? I beg you, to know what thou hath to say unto me. My soul tis open to yours even if mine mind seem not.
Mine heart will rest and mine soul will weep though mine mind will not sleep for mine other half tis missing. So I will feel the pain in all its intensity. So when this tis over the happiness that will consume me will be mighty and powerful and be unto mine heart and soul worth every pain I hath ever felt.

Try to sleep now my lovers, as will I! I will see you upon the 'morrow!

Ado my Sweets! Ado!

I can't stop dreaming about this man I've never met

As I fall asleep I think of you and as I lay there sleeping I dream of you.
I’m lying in a garden next to a cabin that is nestled close to the trees to protect it from the wind. There is a big open field for a view, with mountains high up above the trees to shelter us. I lay there in the garden amongst the poppies, lilies and roses watching the sun go down. The stars light up the skies and I see moonbeams, they dance across your face. I wonder inside to check the fire and peer out the window to see you lying in the garden. I lean closer and try to hear your whispers. What was it you wished for on that falling star? You roll over in the dirt and catch me watching you. You look so handsome, strong and tan from the sun. You prop yourself up on your elbows and rest your chin on the palm of your hand and just lay there watching me as I’m watching you. You say nothing yet I know what you’re thinking. There is a questioning look in your eyes. I try to act confused by your questioning look and throw a playful change in the conversation. You see my face but don’t catch the words. I pull the curtains close hopping to hide my fear but you feel my pain and run to me. I hate the way my heart feels when I’m near you but I crave it just the same. I saw you as you walked across the room, looking out the window you saw the moon. I walk away from you and sit on the corner of the bed. I always wished for a perfect setting. Is this it? My heart seems sure and willing but my head is confused and scared. My hands are cold and shaky. I wake up in a sweat. I turn on the light and look for you but you're not there. You never were for you only come to me in my dreams.