Cold and Alone

As I open the door to the shower the heat leaves my tiny square space and the cold crisp air sneaks in. I feel the warm water drip down my back and the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I get a chill as your face flashes through my mind. I wrap the dry towel around my dripping wet naked body not even bothering to dry myself. I step out and get a glimpse of my form in the foggy mirror. I imagine you standing there like you used to do, behind me, holding me about the waist smelling my hair and kissing my neck, but all that I feel is the cold damp air around me and the emptiness of the room. I thought I had used up all my tears in the hot burning water as I tried to feel, feel anything. The burning of my skin in the hot water detracted me for only a second but the sting faded as I went back to the pain I felt from your absence. A drop runs down my calf and I go to wipe it away but I can’t, it tickles just a little, it almost feels as though your hand is caressing my calf the way you used to when we snuggled. My bed is empty and lonely. I stand in the bright doorway of my bathroom and stare and the dark room before me with the empty untossed sheets, the perfectly made bed and remember you and all that we had together. I turn off the light and enter into the darkness. The towel drops to the floor and I crawl into bed, still wet and cold but uncaring. As I lie there cold and alone I think of you and cry myself to sleep and even though I sleep I still weep as I dream of what we had together.